Don’t Panic

Your pet’s life may depend on you remaining as calm as possible.

Don’t Panic

One morning, a few days ago,  I was in a bad mood. I don't exactly know why it started.  Probably I didn’t get enough sleep. I might also have been less than cheerful because I have had to collect the remains of deceased cats and dogs who probably didn’t need to die, if only I could get my message of Loss Prevention out to people.  One of the things I was upset about was when I took the five dogs for a walk, we couldn't go three feet without the leashes getting tangled, to the point where we couldn’t move. A leash is a physical thing, you know.  The dogs walk on the ground. They don't try to step above the ground.  They don't try to step below the ground.  They step on the ground, at exactly the right level.  Why can't they recognize that a leash is a physical object, that It doesn't just magically separate and rejoin if they go behind my legs.  They know my my arms can only do what arms do.   They don't spin around 360 degrees. If my arms suddenly did rotate around my body in a full circle, they would probably freak out. If you're on a leash,  and you've been on a leash for the entire walk, if you suddenly sprint to the end of the leash as fast as you can, you’re going to hit the end of the leash and it could  hurt your neck. Basic physics. Also you're not gonna get to wherever it was your little puppy brain thought you should sprint to. I mean, I think I have a legitimate reason to be annoyed that these dogs spend their entire lives walking on leashes, yet can't figure out how leashes work.  I suppose it's has to be my fault, that I haven't properly trained them.  But you know I actually have trained them quite a bit. I've demonstrated and I've shown them,  that's how you walk on a leash, and when you do that, that's a good thing and you get praise and treats.  So, just do that. You walk on a leash like good dogs,  like we have been demonstrating that you can, but this particular morning we couldn't walk even three feet without getting tangled.  Half the time, the puppy would just leap into the middle of all the leashes like it was her goal to stop our walk.  I would spend about a minute untangling the mess, and then seconds later, she would just leap in the air and land on all the leashes again, hopelessly tangling everything.  One could find it amusing, but after the tenth time, and if you’re not in the mood, it’s not as funny.

Sky, in particular, needs a longer walk in order to find just the right spot. It exposes us to potential problems more than I would like.  I wouldn’t mind if everyone would just do their business so we could get back to the safety of the house. A white Lexus comes around the corner and doesn't slow down, and I have my phone in my hand, which I often do. I'm trying to hurry and get it in my pocket and grab all the leashes firmly so I can reel in Sky and get her away from the road, and this guy in the Lexus is just inches away from Sky’s head.  I can’t simply walk the dogs away from the road because we are all tangled again. He wasn’t speeding and he wasn’t aiming for her, but he wasn’t slowing down or giving us space.   Besides not understanding leashes, the dogs also don’t seem to understand that cars will run them over and kill them.  It’s really perplexing.  Even if cars didn’t exist in prehistoric times, it’s a massive object, and it’s coming at your head, so why wouldn’t any sane animal move?  They can snatch a stick or a ball out of the air, so they have the ability to interact with physical objects in a way that obeys the law as of physics.  They can leap and land perfectly on a boulder. Then why don’t they think leashes also have to obey the laws of physics?  Why don’t my dogs realize that cars can kill them?  I’m not asking my dogs to be canine good citizens, or rocket scientists.  I just want them to not actively try to kill themselves, and me, on a daily basis.  It is very frustrating.

Then the phone rang.  I didn’t answer because it’s almost always not for me.  It’s a telemarketer or someone trying to reach the shelter, usually.  Then, after the call ended, the same number called back again.  That’s usually an indication that someone is trying to reach their local shelter.  Our shelters are understaffed, and they often don’t pick up the phone.  People will just keep calling because they don’t want to leave a message.  I would have just ignored it, but I have signs up for a lost dog in Lynnwood, and I thought it could be a lead.  I answered the phone, and the guy was looking for his local animal control, predictably.  I asked him what city he lived in, and then I told him the name of his local animal control.  I said it three times, and then I also spelled it out for him.  Each time, he said, “What?”  I wanted to say, “Say what one more time, m***** f*****,” in a Samuel Jackson voice, but I didn’t.  I told him a fourth time, and he said okay.  Then he called back immediately, and I asked him what he wanted.  He said, “Oh, did I just call you?”  “Yes.” “Okay.” And he hung up.  People don’t even know how to use a phone.  It says right on my web page that we help find lost pets, and that we are not a shelter.  Three Retrievers Lost Pet Rescue.  The name says what we are.  Google doesn’t have a category for what I do, so they lump me in with shelters.  When anyone is looking for the local shelter, in Burien, Seattle, Des Moines, Kent, Renton, or Tukwila, Google sends them to me.  I have tried, but I have found no way to fix it.  It’s another very frustrating daily occurrence .

So then Tino and I started driving to a search.  Someone cut me off, again. I drive a blue Prius.  If you're driving a blue Prius, people cut you off.  That's just what happens. It’s  like a rule of the road:  if you see a Prius, cut it off. Just pull right in front of it. The Revised Code of Washington probably says: It is illegal to change lanes in front of another vehicle in an unsafe manner, unless it’s a Prius, then go ahead. Nobody cuts in front of a Dodge Ram truck.  They figure, why does anyone buy a Prius? Not because they are trying to be stylish.  Not because they want to tell the world, “Hey, look at me!” You buy a Prius to help the environment as much as possible, to avoid making an impact.  Someone who drives a Prius probably isn’t going to pull out a gun and shoot you, it would be reasonable to assume. I know people are going to pull in front of me every single day, just like I know that the dogs are going to tangle the leashes and people are going to call me trying to surrender dogs and cats to me even though my web page says we are not a shelter.  Even when you know annoying things are going to happen, and you should be prepared for them, they can still be quite annoying.

I looked over at Tino, and I could see that he was getting nervous and upset because I was in a bad mood. I could just see the look on his face, in his eyes. At that moment, I realized that I couldn’t afford to be in a bad mood. If I wanted Tino to do a good job on the search that day, I needed him to be happy, and in a good mood, like we always are on a search.  A couple of years ago, Mu had to take six months off from working because he started developing anxiety. He started shaking and drooling when we would get into the car to go on a search. It was obvious that something was wrong, and I took him to the vet to rule out any physical ailments. Since nothing was physically wrong, it seemed like it had to be a psychological. I stopped taking him on searches, and we concentrated on having fun. He would still go to training on Sundays, where he always got to find the cat alive and well, and everyone was always happy.  After six months off from work, we started working again, concentrating on making the work enjoyable for him, and he was able to get back to work, and he has found many cats over the last couple of years. I really couldn’t afford to have Tino develop anxiety and not want to search. Our lives literally depended on me not being in a bad mood. So, I decided right at that moment that I would stop being in a bad mood. I turned on some music, and I concentrated on enjoying being with Tino, which was easy to do. For the rest of the drive, going to the job, I petted Tino, and sang along with my iPhone.  Tino doesn’t mind that I’m a terrible singer, but he just likes that I’m in a good mood.  We worked a difficult scent trail through a potentially hazardous environment, and Tino did great work.  I enjoyed working a scent trail in the woods, being with my partner, my friend, my son.

Recently I worked with a woman whose dog was missing. I think it would be safe to describe her as freaking out.  She seemed to be a person who feels things deeply, and it was a horrible situation.   I completely agree that to have your dog go missing is a horrible situation, and I definitely think people are entitled to be upset in those circumstances.  But she kept going on and on about how upset she was and how hopeless she felt,  and her dog was 9 pounds, and was her dog going to be okay.  She assumed her dog had died already. I tried to reassure her as much as I could, and I was trying to get information from her because that's what I need to do in order to try to help her. I needed information in order to try to save her dog’s life.   Information saves lives.  I was just trying to get the basics: what happened, what was she wearing, which way did you see her run. This woman was just telling me all kinds of things that were irrelevant.  She was basically just talking a mile a minute. I understand that when people are upset sometimes they talk more.  It's just a reflex, a nervous tic. I was being very understanding and patient, like I always am.  Whenever I would get an opening, I would ask a question.  Of course, she wouldn’t answer, and would give me more irrelevant information.  It took ten times as long as it should have to get the basics, but eventually Tino and I went and looked for her dog.  We narrowed it down to an area, but we couldn’t get to the likely location of the dog because of private property issues, and blackberry bushes.  We left that day without finding her dog, but I gave her extensive advice.

On the morning when I was driving to a job with Tino, and I was in a really bad mood, this woman called and texted five times, saying there was a sighting of her dog.  I didn’t reply to her because, first, I was driving, and second, I didn’t think I would be able to communicate with her.  I knew she would be panicking and talking a mile a minute and not listening to me.  I just continued on to the job we were scheduled for, planning to call her after we were done.  Fortunately, she found her dog by the time Tino and I were finished with the job and I was ready to call her back.  I have known of many cases where the cat or dog was never found, and it appeared very likely that the pet owner’s emotional state greatly reduced their chances of success.

I don’t deny anyone the right to be upset when their dog or cat is missing.  Certainly I understand that losing a pet is more serious than wrong numbers and uncooperative dogs.  I have been in that situation of having lost a cat and a dog, and I understand how people feel.  I’m glad that people care that much about their pets.  When people only focus on their emotions, even their legitimate emotions, it can greatly reduce their chances of finding their lost pet.  I probably won’t ever ask someone to stop being so emotional and just give me the facts.  I will always try my best to be patient and to get information from the owners of lost pets at a pace they can manage.  If I thought I could persuade them, I would tell them, set your emotions aside for a moment.  The life of your dog or cat might well depend on your ability to think clearly and communicate effectively.  Keep that emotion as a motivation, but use it to fuel concrete actions.

If you find the right reason, the right way of thinking about it, you can switch off negative emotions that are hurting your chances of success.  In particular, I recall a time that Tino and I were searching for a dog lost in the wilderness.  On July 13th, 2020, we went to look for a dog that had fallen off the top of Beckler Peak.  The peak was over 5,000 feet in elevation, and the area she had fallen to was about a 2,000 foot drop, not a cliff, but a very steep slope.  Tino and I had to hike for hours just to reach the peak and look at where she might have fallen.  From there, I had the idea to go around and search below the peak, to the north.  If she went down that steep slope, she was probably at the bottom.  Looking at the map, it seemed doable.  I could see on the satellite photo that a road had been cut through for logging, and it appeared that we could join up with that road and get right to the bottom of the steep part.  Well, it was much harder than I expected to get there, and when we got to the road, it was a road of sorts, but it hadn’t been used in many years, so it was completely clogged with shrubby vegetation that had grown up in the the sunny cut.  It was the opposite of easy access.  What was once a road had become a ribbon of thorny shrubs, more dense than the surrounding forest. Once we were down there, I was forced to give up on trying to find the lost dog and I just focused on getting us out.  Of course, Tino could travel anywhere through that dense forest and underbrush with ease, but he couldn’t read a map.  And he had to wait for me. I was much slower, climbing over logs and through swamps and brambles.  I knew where we had to go, but getting up out of that ravine was taking three times as long as it had taken to get there.  I began to get nervous because we were going to be about six hours overdue from when people were expecting us to return, and there was no cell coverage on that side of the mountain.  I worried that if I twisted my ankle, or we encountered a bear, I had no way to call for help.  As I was worrying about our situation, I could see that it was affecting Tino’s mood.  I knew I had to snap out of it because worrying wasn’t helping, and because it was impacting Tino. I told him he was a good dog, and when we hit areas that were more open, I threw a stick for him to fetch.  I knew that if we were forced to stay in the ravine overnight, we would survive just fine.  We weren’t in immediate physical danger.  I just needed to concentrate on getting to the next level up the mountain, choosing the easiest route, following the terrain and minding the map.  I enjoyed being in the forest with my friend, and we played games as we worked our way out.  It really was a beautiful forest.  And a beautiful dog.  We got to the top about five hours after we were supposed to have checked in, and I was able to get a cell signal to message people that we were okay.  If I had let that situation overcome me with worry, it’s possible I could have made a mistake, slipped on a log, twisted my ankle, and made things worse.  If I had kept on expecting a bad outcome, I could have created a bad outcome. By maintaining a positive attitude, I increased our chances of getting out of a potentially dangerous situation.

I’m not one to say that the power of positive thinking is the solution to everyone’s problems.  Also, I understand that people have a legitimate reason to be upset, worried, and distraught when their family members are missing.  If I am talking to someone about their lost pet, I’m probably not going to suggest that they simply change their mood, because that is likely to backfire.  The other day, as I was going into the post office, a man was out front, talking to his phone.  I think he was doing voice to text because he said it once, then paused, and then said it again.  He said, “You’d better calm the hell down.”  I thought it was funny because it seemed very unlikely that the person he was messaging was going to calm the hell down after being told that.  Most likely, it would have the opposite effect.  Now, I say it to my dogs as a joke.  Well, it’s a joke to myself, because I know my dogs aren’t listening to me once they start going crazy over something.  I tell them, “You’d better calm the hell down.”  It amuses me and has no effect on them.  But I wouldn’t say something like that to a person, unless I was joking.

If you are reading this while your dog or cat is currently missing, please know that I understand that you are upset.  Also, I need to tell you, if my words can get through to you, that letting emotions cloud your judgement can greatly reduce your chances of finding your lost cat or dog.  You need to remain calm in order to think clearly and take the best course of action.  If you are focused on expressing your anxiety, however legitimate that may be, you could be jeopardizing your pet’s life by missing important opportunities to get good information and take appropriate action.  For example, if you get a call about a potential sighting, you need to focus on getting all the details right.  If you are overwhelmed with emotion, because getting a tip is a very emotional thing, you might not be listening carefully or asking the right questions.  When that important tip comes in, it is critical that you handle the situation calmly and thoughtfully.  If you find yourself in a situation where panicking seems like an appropriate and logical response, that is exactly the moment when you need to not panic, take a breath, and think about things clearly.  Think, what would Ethan Hunt do in this situation?  If he knew two nuclear bombs were going to go off in the next fifteen minutes unless he managed to get his hands on a remote detonator in the possession of a trained assassin who just boarded a helicopter, would Ethan Hunt just throw up his hands and say, “Well, that’s that.  It looks like everyone I care about is going to die, along with a billion innocent people.”  No, Ethan Hunt would find a way to get on that helicopter and wrestle the detonator away from an armed assassin.  I know it’s a movie, and we aren’t all living in Mission Impossible.  If you gain control of your emotions and focus on the tasks you need to accomplish to get out of your bad situation, it might be your best and only option.  Sometimes, you literally can’t allow yourself to panic.  Or be in a bad mood when your dogs falsely claim they have no clue what a leash is.  Negative emotions are very unlikely to improve your situation, whatever it is.  Having a positive approach is very likely to help.  It sounds annoyingly self-help-y when I hear myself say that, but I have found it to be true, in many critical situations.  Don’t panic.  Keep calm.  Do the work.

In a crisis situation, maintaining calm and staying focused is crucial. Here are some strategies that can help:

1. Deep Breathing: Focus on your breath, taking slow, deep breaths. This can help reduce the body's stress response and calm your mind.

2. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognize that it's normal to feel anxious or panicked in a crisis. Accepting your feelings can be the first step in managing them.

3. Stay Present: Focus on the here and now, on actions you can take and situations you can control. Avoid dwelling on what could happen in the future or what has happened in the past.

4. Break Down the Problem: Analyze the situation and break it into smaller, manageable parts. Tackle each part step by step.

5. Seek Support: If possible, communicate with others who are with you. Sharing concerns and working together can be calming and productive.  Try to communicate with someone you know is going to be supportive and calming, not someone who is going to feed your anxiety and drive you both crazy.

6. Use Positive Affirmations: Remind yourself of your strength and ability to handle difficult situations. Think of times when you overcame hardships and challenges. Positive self-talk can be empowering.

7. Visualize Success: Imagine yourself handling the situation successfully. This can boost your confidence and reduce feelings of panic.

8. Limit Exposure to Negative Information: In particular, when your pet is missing, it is very likely that someone will tell you that your dog or cat was very likely killed by coyotes.  First, that’s just not true, statistically.  Over 70% of missing cats and dogs are found, one way or another.  Second, even if it is a possibility, it’s not something you can do anything about at this point.  Unless they are offering a clear and reliable witness statement about a particular coyote as it relates to your pet, don’t listen to them when they say coyotes took your pet. If someone says your pet was stolen, that is also highly unlikely, and probably not true.

9. Practice Mindfulness: Engaging in mindfulness can help you stay grounded and focused.  Be aware of your mood and your thoughts.  You might have been panicking and having negative thoughts without even realizing what you were doing.

10. Physical Activity: If possible, engage in physical activity like stretching or walking, which can help release tension.  In a situation where you have lost a pet, get outside and put up fliers, and physically look in likely places.  If you have to get on the internet or social media to look for leads, use your phone, and stand up and walk around as you are scrolling.

Remember, these strategies can be effective, but individual reactions to crisis vary. It's important to find what works best for you in maintaining calm and focus. If you try, and if you realize you don’t really have a choice, you may find that you can switch your mood and focus your thoughts. If, on the other hand, you try, but you just can’t stay calm in a crisis, and you know from past experience that you probably won’t be able to talk yourself out of anxiety, try to get assistance from someone who has a track record of staying cool under pressure.