I hate holidays because dogs, and other animals, die on holidays. In particular, I know that some poor dog is going to die on the Fourth of July when people set off illegal fireworks, scaring him to death, making him break out of a safe zone and run in wild panic in the dark. New Year’s Eve is another time when dogs die on the freeways, again because of illegal fireworks. Those two holidays top my list of least favorite. I also hate Christmas. You might be thinking that I must be the worst sort of curmudgeon to hate Christmas, everyone’s favorite holiday. Well, if it was just about having some good cookies and pie, and gathering with friends and family, sure, I would like that. Christmas has morphed into an industry and a season, not just a day. The worst part about Christmas for me is the horrible, horrible music they play in stores, and that this awful music starts the day after Halloween candy goes on sale. I have learned to combat this with a really excellent set of headphones that block out external sound, and I can crank up Dog’s Eye View and White Zombie and Black Lab at the highest volume, triggering the warning on my Apple Watch that I ought to turn down the volume to protect what’s left of my hearing. I have heard just a few Christmas songs that I actually like. They never play those. I mean, whoever wrote Jingle Bells, I’m sure they didn’t mean for everyone to hear that awful tune multiple times a day for years and centuries. He probably would have killed himself before he wrote it if he could have seen the future and known what a plague it would become. I have to crank up Catherine Wheel just to keep that evil tune at bay after just thinking of the name. Halloween used to be a reasonably safe holiday. No fireworks, no gathering around the carcass of an animal and eating more than any sane person would. No awful music. Dress in a costume that your mother helped you make, and walk around in the dark and get candy. Halloween has become a festival of gaudy, stupid, gigantic, ugly decorations and lights. Also, Halloween starts October 1st, now, apparently. I have been hoping for a record-breaking, global-warming-fueled windstorm to blast all those stupid inflatables away, but then I would probably be seeing them stuck in trees for years.
Wolfenoot, November 23rd, is my favorite holiday. Someone just made it up. It’s a day to celebrate kindness and appreciate your pack. Hopefully your pack has a few descendants of wolves. You don’t have to buy anything. You don’t need to make plans. There is no category in the greeting card aisle for Wolfenoot. Just take your dog for a walk in a local park, or go hiking in the mountains or go to the beach. Or you could stay home and read To The Lighthouse, or The Bonfire of the Vanities. You don’t have to have to kill an animal or write a horrible song. You don’t have to go into debt buying presents for people who already have too many things. Just take some pictures of your dogs playing. Wolfenoot is my kind of holiday. I hope that no big corporations try to latch onto it and ruin it in order to sell mountains of chocolate in heart shaped boxes. Although, I wouldn’t mind a few Wolfenoot cookies.
What are your plans for Wolfenoot?
P.S. Because not all holidays are as dog-friendly as Wolfenoot, and we are approaching the worst of holiday season, please read and share these tips on Loss Prevention for dogs.
If you looked at my phone's photos, you'd think every day was Wolfenoot here! We also are not big on certain holidays, especially those involving fireworks or firearms, and often both. I haven't been out to see fireworks or celebrate New Year's since some time in the late 1980's - early 1990's when we realized one of our dogs was terrified by the noises on those days.
That said, I do have a second holiday to recommend. "Wake up woodchuck chuckers, it's, Groundhog Day!" It comes at the midpoint of winter. There are no songs. No requirements. No big lead up. No family gatherings. No set meals. There's the morning gig with Punxsutawney Phil and his copycats, Buckeye Chuck, Thistle the Whistle Pig, Staten Island Chuck, Pierre C. Shadeaux, and other rodent weather forecasters.
And no cards. In fact, if you walk into, say, a Walgreens, and politely inquire as to where the Groundhog Day cards are since you could not find them, you will be greeted by an astonished stare and the question, " Did you WANT one??!?"
Never mind how I know.
From a fellow July 4, Halloween, and New Years Grinch, you are in good company. Would prefer to take a trip up to BC, or go camping in a national forest (where fireworks are banned) the week of July 4. But need to stay home and make sure our cats and house are ok.